Gratitude to Namo Sakyamuni Buddha!
Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Gratitude to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas from ten directions and three periods of time!
Gratitude to the Dharma protectors!
Gratitude to the benevolent Master Lu!
Gratitude to my fellow Buddhist practitioners!
In October 2022, I encountered Buddhism. At that time, I was suffering from severe depression and had been experiencing insomnia for 7-8 years. At the age of 36, my karmic obstacles erupted completely. There were times when I couldn’t sleep for 3 days and nights, feeling exhausted and sleepy, yet the more I slept, the more awake I felt. I lost my appetite, couldn’t walk properly, didn’t want to speak, experienced nausea, vomiting, stomach pain, and felt physically weak all over. My memory rapidly deteriorated.
I stayed indoors for several months, experiencing severe auditory hallucinations. I often heard loud noises in the living room, but upon investigation, found nothing there. The sounds would persist when I returned to my room. Although I knew I was ill, my mind remained clear. Each time the noises occurred, they felt incredibly real, but I couldn’t discern their source.
As a materialist and non-believer, I didn’t believe in ghosts or anything beyond what I could see. I was so frightened every night that I considered calling the police and even contemplated jumping out of the window due to fear. My survival instincts drove me to seek help from multiple doctors and spend tens of thousands of CNY on medication, but I still couldn’t sleep. Eventually, the doctors gave up on me, saying, “You’ve taken so much medicine already, there’s nothing more we can do. You have to rely on yourself.” Even sleeping and eating became my greatest fears.
Despite being so ill, my family blamed me, accusing me of being idle and pressuring me to find work. However, even after working >10 hours a day and being physically exhausted, I still couldn’t eat or sleep. No one understood my pain. While they slept soundly, I remained awake until dawn. The lack of understanding from my family and the physical pain pushed me to the brink of collapse. In the late hours of the night, I picked up scissors and cut my wrists, bleeding, but the thought of my sleeping son in the next room dispelled any notion of death. For the sake of my son, I couldn’t even die if I wanted to.
I have always been optimistic, believing that with my willpower and efforts, I could overcome any difficulties and obstacles. However, this time things spiraled out of control completely. No matter how much I tried to empty my mind and let go, I couldn’t shake off the turmoil. It felt like my brain was forcibly switched on, with no hint of drowsiness. At that point, I found myself in a state of despair where I was too afraid to die yet couldn’t bear to live. My only thought was to hold on, make some money for my son, and then find a swift and dignified way to die. Every time I thought about this, tears would flow uncontrollably. I was unwilling to die like this, but I felt utterly incapable of living. I couldn’t even manage to be a normal person.
Every night, my heart would suddenly race, and I couldn’t control it, feeling suffocated. I endured days like this for a long, long time. Just when I thought I would have to endure this torment until I suddenly dropped dead, I encountered Buddhism. A fellow Buddhist practitioner introduced me to the practice of reciting Buddhist scriptures. At that time, my relationship with my son was extremely strained. We argued every day, and I sent him back to our hometown, blocked him on WeChat, blocked his calls, and then regretted it. My fellow practitioner helped reconcile us multiple times, in a cycle of back and forth.
As my fellow practitioner explained the Dharma, he took out a Buddhist chanting machine, a player, Buddhist scriptures, and other materials for me. I thought there would be a charge for these items, but my fellow practitioner said they were all free. I was stunned. Did they really not cost anything? Did they expect donations for merit? No, they didn’t. Later, my experience proved that practicing Buddhism and reciting scriptures truly can change one’s destiny without spending a single penny.
When I returned home, though still skeptical, I began reciting Buddhist scriptures because it was my last hope for survival. At that point, I couldn’t afford medication anymore; it was too expensive for me. I had stopped taking medication for a month; I had no other choice. I started holding the Buddhist scriptures every day, reciting each word carefully, including the daily recitations and Little Houses. Despite feeling exhausted from morning till night, I could only manage to recite 2 Little Houses. Yet, miraculously, my health started to improve: my back pain reduced, and I regained strength for walking. I found this development incredible and gained a bit more confidence. Even though my appetite hadn’t fully returned, and I could only manage a few bites of food each day, I surprisingly found the strength to walk. Could this be the miraculous change brought about by reciting Buddhist scriptures?
Unfortunately, I was influenced by negative information afterward and began to doubt Buddhism, thinking that my gradual improvement in health was due to my relaxed mood. Despite feeling exhausted from reciting scriptures and Little Houses diligently every day, I still couldn’t sleep well, and there wasn’t much improvement. When I stopped reciting for 2 days, my body didn’t revert back immediately. However, by the third day, everything changed: I found myself unable to stand up straight after bending down, and I felt weak while walking, which panicked me. Yet, I also thought it might just be a coincidence. A few days later, my body returned to its original state exactly like before I started reciting: lying paralyzed in bed. It was then that I realized only reciting Buddhist scriptures could heal me. So, I picked up the Buddhist scriptures again and earnestly recited them. About a week later, my health improved once more. From that moment on, I completely believed in Buddhism and trusted my master.
Because my memory had severely declined, it took me about 3 months to memorize the scriptures. On the day I memorized the Great Compassion Mantra, I recited it before going to bed. Surprisingly, I fell asleep while reciting it. The next day, when I woke up, I couldn’t help but cry tears of joy: I had fallen asleep last night, and for such a long time! After nearly 3 months of reciting, I could finally sleep. I was finally saved! I immediately messaged Buddhist practitioner Deng: “I fell asleep last night. I’m truly saved! I’ve been waiting for the day to naturally fall asleep for 8 years!” He encouraged me to continue reciting diligently, telling me that for severe depression like mine, I needed to make vows and recite at least 800 Little Houses. I replied, “I will recite diligently, you can rest assured.” Because of the lesson learned from stopping recitation last time, I dared not slack off again. The changes in my body also gave me more and more confidence.
Then, I faced another test during the Qingming Festival, and for a whole month, I couldn’t sleep again. It was agonizing to return to my previous state. I couldn’t even recite Buddhist scriptures anymore. Every night, I prayed to Guan Yin Bodhisattva, begging for a good night’s sleep. I recited the name of Guan Yin Bodhisattva and the Great Compassion Mantra, but nothing worked. Why wasn’t my prayer to the Bodhisattva answered? By coincidence, I came across a teaching from Master Lu, which mentioned transferring merits and virtues. I prayed to Guan Yin Bodhisattva to use my merits and virtues to eliminate karmic obstacles and bless me with a good night’s sleep. That night, I fell asleep peacefully again.
I realized that my prayers weren’t answered because my karmic obstacles were heavy, and my merits and virtues was insufficient. What my master taught was true: each reading of Buddhism in Plain Terms accumulates merits and virtues. From then on, I began to focus on studying Buddhism in Plain Terms. In just over half a year, I finished reading all 12 volumes of my master’s Buddhism in Plain Terms and gained a deeper understanding of Buddhist principles. My vow power grew stronger. I would read Buddhism in Plain Terms repeatedly until I could recite it from memory! Master Lu’s Five Golden Buddhist Practices pulled me out of despair. I no longer had any excuse to slack off.
Now, I am energetic despite being on a vegetarian diet. Whenever I want to sleep, I recite the Great Compassion Mantra, and I can fall asleep easily. Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu saved me! I want to share my experiences and help more people who, like me, are trapped in depression and can’t find a way out.
If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the truth in the presentation, I pray for forgiveness from Namo Sakyamuni Buddha, the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors, and Master Jun Hong Lu.
I, not my fellow Buddhist practitioners, will be responsible for my own karma!
Buddhist practitioner: Zhizhi
Translator: Frank
Feedback from Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door netizen 2024-03-11 (CN)
Published: 2024-03-22 (EN)
Statement by translator
The story was translated from Chinese into English by meaning, not word by word. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the Chinese version, I pray for forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: sunnypurplelily@gmail.com
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下：
重度抑郁症，曾经自杀过，学佛一年痊愈了
感恩南无释迦牟尼佛！
感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨摩诃萨！
感恩十方三世一切诸佛菩萨及龙天护法！
感恩师父！
感恩师兄们！
2022年10月我开始接触佛法，当时我是重度抑郁症，失眠七八年了，在36岁关劫彻底爆发出来，有时候三天三夜睡不着觉，很累很困，却越睡越清醒，吃不下饭，走不动路，不想说话，反胃、呕吐、胃疼、浑身无力，记忆力急速衰退，几个月不出门，出现了严重的幻听，经常听到客厅有很大声响，出去一看什么都没有，回到房间那种声音又会反复出现。我觉得自己虽然病了，但脑子很清醒，每次声响都非常真实，可我不知道那种声音到底是从哪里来的。
我是唯物主义无神论者，不相信世上有鬼，只相信看得见的存在，当时每天晚上害怕到想报警，恐惧到想从窗户跳下去。求生的本能让我去看了好几个医生，吃了几万块钱的药，依然睡不着。最后医生建议我：“药已经吃了这么多了，没办法了，只能靠你自己了。”医生都放弃我了！睡觉和吃饭都成了我最恐惧的事情。即使病成这样，家人还责怪我，说我是闲的，要帮我找工作。可是我上班十几个小时，身体累到极致，依然吃不下饭睡不着觉，没人能体会我的痛苦，当他们在熟睡的时候，我是睁眼到天亮的，家人的不理解和身体的病痛，让我走到了崩溃的边缘，深夜拿起剪刀把手腕划破流血了，想到房间里熟睡的儿子，又打消了死的念头，为了儿子想死都不能死。
我一向很乐观，一直觉得靠自己的意志和努力可以克服任何困难和阻碍，这一次彻底失控，无论我怎么放空自己，清空大脑不去想任何事情，依然无济于事，大脑像被强制开机，没有半点睡意。当时的我，已经到了死也不敢死、活又活不下去的绝望境地，我唯一的念头就是硬撑住，赚一笔钱留给儿子，然后找一个又痛快又体面的死法，每次想到这里就会一直流泪，我真的不甘心就这样死掉，可是我真的没有办法活下去了，我连做个正常人都做不到。
一到晚上心脏骤然加速，无法控制，心堵得喘不上气来。这样的日子熬了很久很久，当我以为要一直承受这种折磨直到自己突然猝死的时候，我遇见了佛法，师兄度我学佛念经，我天天跟儿子吵架，把儿子撵回老家去，微信拉黑，电话拉黑，然后又后悔，师兄又帮我劝回来，反反复复好几次。师兄边讲解边拿出念佛机、播放器、经书等给我，我以为要收钱的，结果师兄说这些全部免费，我当时就愣了，真的不要钱吗？那是不是要捐功德款？也不要。后来我的经历证明了，学佛念经真的不花一分钱就能改变命运。
回到家虽然半信半疑，还是开始念经了，因为这是我最后的救命稻草，当时我已经没钱吃药了，药太贵了吃不起了，停药一个月，已经没得选了，我开始每天捧着经书，一个字一个字地念功课和小房子。一天从早到晚累到虚脱也只能念2张小房子，但身体真的慢慢好了，腰不酸了，走路有力气了，我感到很不可思议，并且增加了一点信心。虽然胃口还不好，每天只能吃几口饭，居然也有力气走路，这就是念经带来的神奇变化吗？
遗憾的是接下来我接受到负面信息影响，开始质疑佛法，以为身体慢慢好转是因为我心情放松了。天天做功课念小房子这么累，可我依然睡不着觉，变化也不大，我停了两天没有念经身体也没变回去。到了第三天就变了，跟念经之前一样弯腰就站不起来，走路也没力气，我慌了，却又觉得可能只是巧合。又过了几天，身体直接被打回原形，跟念经之前一模一样，又瘫在床上不想动了。这时才明白只有念经才会让我身体好，又捧起经书勤勤恳恳地念起来，大概一个星期身体又好起来了，从此我彻底相信佛法、相信师父了。
因为记忆力严重衰退，我坚持念经大概3个月才把经文背下来。背过《大悲咒》的那天，睡觉前我念着《大悲咒》，结果念着念着就睡着了，第二天当我醒来，忍不住喜极而泣：昨晚居然睡着了而且睡了那么久！念了差不多三个月，我终于能睡着了，我终于有救了！我马上给邓师兄发信息：“我昨晚睡着了，我真的有救了！我盼着自然入睡这一天，等了八年！”他鼓励我好好念经，像我这种严重抑郁症，需要许愿至少念800张经文组合小房子。我说：“我会好好念的，你放心。”因为有了上次停止念经后的教训，再也不敢懈怠，身体的变化也让我越来越有信心。
可紧接着，我又遇到了清明节的考验，整整一个月又睡不着觉了，被打回原形真的好痛苦，念经也念不动，天天晚上求观世音菩萨保佑我睡个好觉吧，念观世音菩萨圣号、念《大悲咒》都不行，为什么求不灵啊？机缘巧合，我看到了师父的开示，可以转功德，我求观世音菩萨帮我转部分功德来消业障，保佑我睡个好觉，当晚我又能安然入睡了。我明白了，求不灵是因为我业障重，功德不够。师父说的是真的，《白话佛法》读一遍有一遍的功德。从此，我就开始重视《白话佛法》，短短半年多的时间，我读完了师父的十二册《白话佛法》，明白了很多的佛理，愿力也越来越强：我要反反复复读《白话佛法》，直到背出来！师父的“五大法宝”，让我从绝望中走出来了，我再也没有任何借口去懈怠。
现在，我吃全素却浑身有劲，只要想睡觉，念着《大悲咒》倒头就能睡着。是观世音菩萨和师父救了我！我要现身说法，去帮助更多像我这样被抑郁困住走不出来的人。
以上分享如有不如理不如法之处，祈请南无释迦牟尼佛慈悲原谅，祈请南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨慈悲原谅，祈请诸佛菩萨及龙天护法菩萨慈悲原谅，祈请师父慈悲原谅。我自己的业障自己背，不让师兄们背。
分享人：枝枝师兄
心灵法门网友反馈 2024-03-11
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我们手把手传授您观世音菩萨的心灵法门五大法宝：“许愿”、“放生”、“念经”、“读《白话佛法》、大忏悔”。您将亲自见证如何通过佛法让自己及家人获得身心安定、病苦解除、冤结化解、智慧增长、学业进步、事业提升、家庭幸福。免费学习，免费结缘。
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Comments
Why does the author experience “Every night, my heart would suddenly race, and I couldn’t control it, feeling suffocated.”?
The author’s nightly experiences of heightened heart rate and a sense of suffocation may be attributed to the heightened activity of spirits during nighttime, as they are associated with the YIN, which coincides with the darkness of night. This phenomenon is also observed in many patients with mental disorders whose symptoms exacerbate during the night, suggesting a shared underlying mechanism.
Why does the author experience “Then, I faced another test during the Qingming Festival, and for a whole month, I couldn’t sleep again.”?
During the Qingming Festival, a significant event in the underworld, numerous spirits are released from their realm. These spirits seek out their debtors to collect owed debts, and if unable to receive payment, may inflict harm upon them. Consequently, the author’s inability to sleep during this period may be attributed to the heightened spiritual activity and the associated fear or disturbance it brings.