Respected senior Buddhist practitioners from the Secretariat, the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Master!
Below are my reflections on reciting Buddhist scriptures and the Little Houses. For many years, I harbored thoughts of ending my own life and engaged in self-destructive behaviors. However, now that I’ve dedicated myself to reciting Buddhist scriptures and reciting the Little Houses, I have become a completely renewed person! May my experience inspire more fellow practitioners to steadfastly recite Buddhist scriptures and cultivate their minds!
Gratitude to benevolent Master Lu!
Gratitude to my fellow practitioners!
Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
From primary school to middle school to university, I often contemplated suicide. During middle school, I often thought about buying pesticides to drink. After starting work, I often sat on the window ledge of my 28th-floor apartment, contemplating jumping off. Because I didn’t feel like I had depression, I didn’t think about how to cure it. I thought that was just how I was.
In university, nothing interested me. I felt that life was meaningless, watching people play sports wasn’t interesting, and having a boyfriend wasn’t either. I even made my boyfriend miserable, and we eventually broke up. Later, I had several boyfriends and went through numerous breakups and reconciliations. I engaged in self-destructive behaviors, indulging in various forms of promiscuity. That feeling was truly unbearable. I didn’t want to live; I just wanted to indulge in self-destructive behavior.
Later, I got married, and things started off well with my husband. We were very affectionate, and it seemed like my depression had lifted. However, after several abortions, my depression resurfaced. During that time, I smoked, drank heavily, and had a terrible temper. Eventually, the pain became unbearable. Even smoking, drinking, smashing things, and cursing couldn’t relieve it, so I decided to try learning Buddhism.
At the beginning of my Buddhist practice, everyone in my family opposed it. I bowed to my family, to my mother-in-law, and to my father, banging my head until it turned purple. I was probably not in control of my mind and exerted too much force. In the language of Buddhists now, it’s said that those karmic creditors who seek ascending are impatient for me.
Later, I learned about the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door and secretly recited Buddhist scriptures and recited the Little Houses. Even at that point, I didn’t think I had depression. I still thought that it was just the way I was. I thought it was normal for someone to think about death and suicide every day, really.
Initially, I focused solely on my daily recitations without incorporating the practice of reciting the Little Houses. Because the conditions didn’t allow it, I thought it was impossible for me to recite the Little Houses. How could I recite them when my family opposed it? Where could I burn them?
Then, miraculous things began to happen. Our office rented a three-bedroom apartment for ten people to use as our workspace. Later, everyone else moved to other areas, and I was the only one working in the three-bedroom apartment. I thought it was such a coincidence, so I decided to try burning the Little Houses in the office. So, every day, I recited Buddhist scriptures and burned the Little Houses in the office.
After burning the first Little House, I saw many shining pigs, cows, and sheep flying up into the sky with my eyes open at night, disappearing. And I felt that I had become more beautiful. So, I fell in love with reciting Buddhist scriptures and reciting the Little Houses. However, at the beginning, I felt that reciting scriptures was very toilsome; sitting there was uncomfortable, and I wished I could hit my head. Now I realize that those karmic creditors who seek Buddhist scriptures are impatient for me. When they are satisfied with the Little Houses, I don’t want to hit my head anymore.
Later, maybe after reciting about 50 Little Houses, I no longer wanted to commit suicide. It was then that I realized, oh, people can actually not want to commit suicide. Now, I have burned >300 Little Houses for my karmic creditors, and I have recited >300 Little Houses for the children I aborted. I found that people can be so peaceful and happy, filled with love!
My current daily recitations include reciting the Great Compassion Mantra, the Heart Sutra, the Amitabha Pure Land Rebirth Mantra, the Xiao Zai Ji Xiang Shen Zhou, and the Mantra to Untie Karmic Knots each 49 times, and reciting the Eighty-Eight Buddhas Great Repentance 3 times. Every week, I burn 3-5 Little Houses for my karmic creditors and the children I aborted and I often release animals. When I have time, I answer fellow practitioners’ questions about learning Buddhism online, which makes me very happy! Sometimes, after releasing animals or answering fellow practitioners’ questions about learning Buddhism, I feel as if I have swallowed a ball of light in my belly and am very happy! I smile so much that my mouth can’t close, and the corners of my mouth reach my ears.
So, this is what it means to be filled with Dharma joy!
The most fortunate moment came in 2012 when I became a disciple under Master Jun Hong Lu. I can hardly bear to look back on my past misdeeds. I vowed to forever follow Master Jun Hong Lu and Guan Yin Bodhisattva, reciting Buddhist scriptures, cultivating the mind, propagating the Dharma, and saving sentient beings. Guan Yin Bodhisattva did not reject me. If the Bodhisattva doesn’t reject someone like me, who has committed so many evil deeds, then everyone should have even more confidence!
Due to my heavy karmic obstacles, I still need to recite more Little Houses for my karmic creditors and for the children I aborted, and make big vows for releasing animals in large quantity. I will persist and continue reciting Buddhist scriptures and cultivating my mind forever! I will forever be a disciple of Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Master Lu Jun Hong!
Buddhist practitioner: Guo
from Guangzhou, China
Posted: 2012-10-20
Translator: Frank
Published: 2024-04-12
Source: Feedback from Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door Website Users, Master Lu’s Blog.
Statement by translator
The story was translated from Chinese into English by meaning, not word by word. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the Chinese version, I pray for forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: sunnypurplelily@gmail.com
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下：
十几年经常想自杀，50张小房子好了——心灵法门网友反馈
尊敬的秘书处师兄，大慈大悲师父！
下面是我念经念小房子的体会，我曾经多年想自杀，做过很多自暴自弃的事，现在念经念小房子已经是一个焕然一新的人！但愿我的经历可以鼓励更多同修坚定信心念经修心！
感恩师父！感恩师兄！感恩大慈大悲观世音菩萨！
从小学到中学到大学我经常想自杀。中学的时候就经常想买农药喝，上班了以后经常坐在自己家里28楼窗台上，想着要不然跳下去好了。但是没觉得自己有抑郁症所以没有想怎么可以治好，我以为是我就是这样子，到了大学就什么都没意思觉得活着太没意思，看人打球也没意思，交男朋友也没意思，还把人家男朋友搞得也痛不欲生的，后来分手了。但是还是觉得没意思，交了几个男朋友，和多个男友分分合合。然后自暴自弃做了很多不好的事情、各种邪淫的事和别人一夜情，那种感觉真的是生不如死。不想活只想自暴自弃，后来结婚了。和老公在一起开始挺好的，很恩爱好像抑郁也好了，后来打胎了几次，终于又爆发了。我那时候抽烟酗酒脾气非常不好，后来真的太痛苦了，抽烟酗酒砸东西骂人都不能缓解，试试学佛。
后来就学佛了，但是一开始也不行，一开始学佛受到家里所有人反对，我就给家里人磕头，给婆婆爸爸磕头，头都紫了。估计也是精神不太受控制用力太猛，用现在学佛的说法就是要经者想要经很急其实。
后来知道了心灵法门，就偷偷念经念小房子，我这时候还是没觉得自己有抑郁症呢。还是觉得自己就是这样的，我觉得一个人天天想死想自杀是很正常的，真的。
开始只是念了经做了功课没有念小房子，我觉得自己不可能念小房子的，家里都反对怎么念啊？在哪烧啊？
一开始没有念小房子是条件不允许，后来神奇的事情就开始了。我们办公室10个人租的三室一厅的房子做办公室，后来其他人都去了其他区域，不在这个办公室上班啦！就我一个人三室一厅的房子单独办公。我就想这么巧我在办公室烧烧小房子试试呗，我就天天在办公室念经烧小房子。第一张小房子烧下去晚上我睁着眼睛看见很多猪牛羊发光的飞了起来，飞到天上不见了。而且人变漂亮了，我就爱上念经念小房子了。开始觉得念经可苦了坐着浑身难受，恨不得打自己的头。现在知道就是要经者要经要的很急，他们拿到小房子满意了，我就不想揍自己的头了。
后来我可能念到50张左右小房子才觉得不想自杀，我才发现呢，哦，原来人是可以不想自杀的，现在我已经给自己的要经者烧了可能300张以上，给打胎的孩子念了300张以上，发现原来人可以如此宁静和幸福，心里充满爱！
我现在的功课是每天功课念大悲咒、心经、往生咒、消灾吉祥神咒、解结咒各49遍，礼佛大忏悔文3遍，每周给自己的要经者和自己打胎的孩子3-5张小房子，经常放生，有空了在网上回答同修学佛的问题，可开心了！有的时候放生完，或者给同修解答学佛的问题之后，开心的好像肚子里吞了一团光一样开心！笑得嘴巴合不拢，嘴角都笑到耳朵上了。原来这就叫法喜充满啊！
最最幸运的是2012年我成为了卢军宏台长的拜师弟子。过去的种种恶行不堪回首，我发愿永远跟随卢军宏台长和观世音菩萨念经修心弘法度人，观世音菩萨没有嫌弃我。菩萨连我这样做了如此多恶业的人都不嫌弃呢。大家更要有信心！！
因为业障深重，我还需要给自己的要经者和打胎的孩子念很多小房子，大量许愿放生，我一定会坚持下去，永远念经修心！永远做观世音菩萨的弟子！
感恩大慈大悲观世音菩萨！
感恩大慈大悲卢军宏台长！
广州-郭同修
2012-10-20
您想改变命运吗？
我们手把手传授您观世音菩萨的心灵法门五大法宝：“许愿”、“放生”、“念经”、“读《白话佛法》、大忏悔”。您将亲自见证如何通过佛法让自己及家人获得身心安定、病苦解除、冤结化解、智慧增长、学业进步、事业提升、家庭幸福。免费学习，免费结缘。
欢迎联络Lily佛友：sunnypurplelily@gmail.com
或者加Lily佛友微信：HanJing20210820